Putting The Game To Sleep

wet-monsoon

i’m convinced that the ice age franchise won’t end until the squirrel that always chases after the nut gets an equally hideous girlfriend with Squirrel Tits™ and eyelashes

wet-monsoon

no….. No

NO

claratyler

No you don’t understand, I have this entire developed theory about the Ice Age universe which has been cooking up in my mind and has only be reinforced by the latest 5th installment.
Scrat is the god of the Ice age universe. The story began with him and the story will end with him. If there weren’t hints before, in this latest installment, it becomes clear that Scrat’s actions dictate what happens on Earth and to the protagonists. Yes, maybe Scart’s only goal is to get the nut, but his actions SHAPE what happens in the film.
If we needed any further proof then may I point out something Buck said in the 5th film along the lines of “we’re 6 mins early! Somebody up there likes us!”
That phrase is usually used to refer to a god and in this case it’s used to refer (unknowingly) to scrat!

However, there is an ALTERNATE theory that I have been working on. What if Scart isn’t the god of the ice age universe, but rather, the NUT is? As i have already said, Scart’s actions shape the course of the story but what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut, it is truly because of the nut that Scart does what he does that leads to the events that take place in the story.
This would create an interesting metaphor here. Scrat is chasing the nut like man chases divinity.
So when will the Ice Age saga end?? When Scart finally gets the nut for good. When man catches God.

wet-monsoon

busket

i didnt even read this but im laughing at how many times scrat is typoed as scart

brohecking

“what motivates Scart? That’s right: the nut” is the funniest fucking string of words I’ve read in my life

chancethereaper

Wait a minute there’s 5 ice age movies?

deadhoneybadger

Yeah that’s why they all died at 30 because they were so unhealthy but cool

rosietheamazon

Pretty sure it was the plague not heart disease.

cr1mson5thestranger

Pretty sure it was the Plague, childbirth, food spoiling, maltreated infections, smallpox, pneumonia, and/or generally unsanitary living conditions (such as dumping sewage and waste in the streets) and not health conditions caused by excess body fat.

Not to mention that the Renaissance standard of female beauty being plumpness and full-figured forms came from the fact that it was a status symbol. Plump, pale, full-figured women were wealthy women who didn’t have to spend their days in hard labor or raising children (or both) and stood a better chance of bearing healthy babies than commoner women did.